February Writing Prompt: – Desperate Obligations – Day 13/28

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#February Writing Prompt: – Desperate Obligations – Day 13/28

Obligations and Desperation

Obligations as a mother, wife, and breadwinner
Led me to desperation in the 1970s -1990’s
I needed someone to rest my tired soul on
Where were those strong arms I used to have

Reaching out for help, I found a friend in a bottle
No one heard my inner cry, I was so fragile
Even sleep, I could not find the light to led me on
In all my pain, I never missed a day at work

I tried reaching out to others even my husband
but he never understood the reason why I did this
only thought of me as an alcoholic, rejecting me
I was in the dark I was the only one, to help me

So I did, I open up my heart to praying every night
In my strange household, only I know how I was saved
It still lives deep within, has saved many a day, praying
Only one thing sad about this, I lost my oldest son.

Please note: This is the first time I have written about this part of my life, I was not an alcoholic, all though it may have looked like it, at that time of my life, {as I still have a drink of red wine every night with my tea).

My son is still alive only he does not want anything to do with me, since we sold our dairy farm, just over three years ago, I miss my two grandchildren very much. Sad.

26 thoughts on “February Writing Prompt: – Desperate Obligations – Day 13/28

    • Thank you for your comment, I have been tossing this around for some time, but it needed to get out in the open so my body can help to repair the guilt I feel through the lost of my son, as he say’s I wasn’t there when he needed me, (because I was at work) and when I did come home I was always drinking, (until teatime I never drunk after tea). Thanks, I feel a little sad. Have a nice day.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Elsie, I admire your strong and loving poem. Yes, even when you write about desperation your warm heart shines through. It is a known fact that many women and men buckle under the obligations and feel ” I can’t cope any longer”.
    It is a shame that there is no way to share.

    Well done you to find your way out and into the sun. I don’t believe you lost your son, he will be back. Deep inside he misses his mother.
    Trust and have faith 🦋💕
    Miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So glad you decided to share this part of your life… So often, others can relate to such things and feel a sense that they are not alone in their own struggles. You shared your testimony beautifully. Thank you for sharing your heart. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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