Happy Families – Part Two
Ideas for a Healthy Happy Teenager
We tend not to want to expose ourselves to anything that might take away what we have created and we actually feel most things as a threat in the first years of our child’s adolescent.
Thinking that when our child leaves the house that something bad is going to happen, so we need to control them, that is wrong, we have to let go of that thought for a healthy happy teenager, we must trust them, they know when they are doing wrong and in most cases, it is the peer pressure that will lead then astray.
Try setting reasonable boundaries for your teenage children, if they are broken, then resist getting angry and instead explain the consequences of their actions, which is different in every home, you set the rules, explain by breaking the rules, how it is going to affects them, it is better than getting angry.
Find a way to say, “yes” most of the time instead of “no”. most out of control teens are signaling to their parents that they are desperate to be older, more responsible and independent, so saying “no” isn’t going to work.
Sort out a way to get some of the things they want – like a part time job for them, so they have their own money, can be a compromise while allowing them to experience some independence.
Other things that cause many problems in a family home
Drugs and drinking are some of the hardest things for parents to cope with, also the gay teenagers.
Just stop and think, what were you doing at 17 or 18 years of age?
You will note then that your child is not such a rebel as you think.
The challenge is to find the right balance between healthy risks and harmful ones.
Some helpful tips on how to talk to your teenager
Remember to show them that you are always there for them, and yes teenagers love hugs from their parents, even though you may think they are too old for that, no one is never too old for a hug.
The first rule is to listen and not interrupt – no matter how horrified you may be, at the things you are hearing.
Let your teenager know they can trust you.Anything that is said between the two of you, will not be repeated unless you have their permission.
As they gain confidence with you, they will be more likely to come to you when things are troubling them and you will be in a position to help them.
Do not judge, instead of responding to your child (that is sharing the fact that they have tried smoking marijuana), by butting in and giving them a full on the anti-drug lecture, let them finish and then talk about the subject, in general terms such as:
How did you feel when that happened?
What did you think about what you did?
Let them explore the right and wrong of the situation.
Leave the anti-drug message for some other time, they know that message already.
Just be there to support them and guide them gently the right way, a hug would not go astray in this situation.
Try not criticize, teens are very sensitive to perceived insults, especially about their friends or lifestyle.
Don’t get at them about wasting time playing internet games, allow them to have their own opinions.
This is what growing up is all about, experimenting with ideas and working out what works best for them.
Their opinions might not always be in sync with yours but if you, encourage them to be who they want to be, they will grow into balanced adults.
Raising rude teenagers.
The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people the regressed child and the emergent adult.
One of the main things, that I don’t understand is the rude attitude.
I find very hard to cope with, (in my day’s) if we answered our parents back or yelled at them, we all knew what would happen, so we never ventured there, I don’t think it did me any harm.
The sex issue, we can usually cope with that one, most schools are teaching that subject these days
Substance use, I am lost, I feel it is destroying young bodies and the family.
What are your thought’s about this post, I love comments?